Wednesday, October 27, 2010

counting down to the long awaited NS enlistment... 14 more days...

why does most of the people that i know think that i'm being emotional when i'm not talking? i wonder... i admit, i don't really talk much. after all, i'm more of a listener than a talker. and i don't really talk for about 80% of the time unless people ask me questions. but, not talking doesn't mean i'm emotional, okay? :)

it's just that i happen to be a really good listener. i can listen to people talk non-stop for about 4 hrs without them even hearing me speak a word. actually, things happen for a reason. i used to be a chatterbox when i was younger. but there was an incident that made me to feel not like talking. well, although the incident was really an accident. but, it's really good as not many people open up their ears to listen to others these days.

HOWEVER, when i'm really emotional, i will say that i am. so don't worry about me, okay? i want to apologize to those of my friends who felt like they were talking to a wall when talking to me. :/

really wish to have a relationship now. not because of comparison, not because i just want to have one, but because i feel really empty. it really suck to feel empty. just like when i'm very hungry but there is no cookie in the cookie jar :(

lack of love is no good for the body and soul. don't misunderstand when i say body. but it really is not good as i always lack the energy and motivation to do stuff.

sigh. i'm not very good after all. i recently advised one of my friend to go get a girlfriend but i couldn't even get one myself. sadded :(

kIrA began his story @ 21:20

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

it's been quite awhile since my last post. i have been enjoying my life lately as i'm left with a little less than a months time till i enlist for national service. Finally!!! the long awaited national service.

also have been quite emotional lately due to some events that occurred. and i thought that i would feel better after talking to celest that night. who knows that i would still feel the same after letting out. but i must say that i'm having difficulty unlocking some of the deeper things kept within. the things that i told her were some of those that were on the outside and were easily let out. sigh. i need time. but i don't have it.

i think i'm currently at a stage where i cannot move forward on my path towards my dream. without time and money, there's really nothing much that i can do. everything have to wait.

one this is for sure, and that is that i'm going to finally have my own room. everything inside the room will be mine. or i should say that everything inside my room is my thing, my own stuff :D

i sometimes wish that i'm not a singaporean, wish that i'm not staying in singapore. its far too stressful. too fast pace. i sometimes envy those friends from other countries. but, there's pros and cons. so all i can do is envy. singapore's standard of living is way too high. can't really stand it. in the past, a mcdonalds meal is less than $5. now, an average mcdonalds meal would easily cost up to $7 to $9 (non inclusive of mc value lunch). why isn't our pay increasing? sigh.

kIrA began his story @ 07:13

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heart without love, body without soul
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david ~ kira ~ xiiao vid ~ chino
17 Nov 1989
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